November 11, 2012
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Overkill
I started reading a manga called Shin Kotaru Makaritou, which is about a japanese Karate club that decides, one day, to switch to judo. It’s not the best manga out there (there’s no character development) but, for who they are, the characters are funny and their interactions are funny. It reminds me a lot of Ranma 1/2.
I mostly started reading it because I wanted a more fun way of learning the names of japanese terms being thrown around in my judo class. However, like with many other mangas that involve people learning legendary techniques and becoming stronger, I’m getting kind of hooked on this one.I’ve also started playing Disgaea 4 on PS3, which I find is strange– I’ve never played a Disgaea game before, although [Vittek] and [CM] both have. My first impression was “It looks like Final Fantasy Tactics” which is true, but that’s where the similarity ends. FFT had a much more ‘strict’ feel to it– if you made certain mistakes, you could really ruin a stage. Indeed, I actually stopped playing the FFT remake on PSP (although I’d previously beaten it on PSX, or was it PS2?) because it was once so hard that it was impossible for me to beat a certain stage that i was autosaved into, with no backup saves anywhere else– gamebreaking, I know, and a stupid mistake to make.
Anyway, Disgaea might look a lot like FFT to me, but the battle system is a hella lot larger. The voice acting is also incredible, and the scripting is hillarious (if you’re in the mood for it). The game also has so much depth to it, it’s mind boggling. I think I’ve been playing this game for like 10 hours now, and the game is still making me play tutorials for things that I haven’t learned how to do yet.
CM is working on exam preparation right now, so I mostly stay around close by as “support staff.” We take turns during exam sessions, since hers and mine aren’t at the same time. That means that while she’s in exam mode, I do the cooking, cleaning, groceries and errands, so that she can basically exist to study. It’s not a hard existence being a house-boyfriend, because aside from those things that I do do in that role, I’m basically playing videogames, reading, or going to judo. But hey, that’s what summer vacation is for, right? I would probably go to judo 5 times a week if I could, but honestly, my body can’t take more than twice per week.
This state of doing whatever I want won’t last forever– pretty soon, I’ll be starting my new job for the Germans once a week. And hopefully, I’ll get a positive result from that clerkship with the mid tier firm, because that’ll take all the stress off the rest of my degree by removing the hunt for a grad job. I think I’m getting better and not getting my hopes up.
When I went out 8 applications last semester and only got 1 bite, it was a crushing blow to me. I think, however, that because I got that 1 bite, I somehow conjured up this idea in my head that I deserved to get that job more than anyone else– when in reality, my situation has nothing to do with my entitlement.
So I’ve been working on refining my expectations in life. Perhaps, this more accurately doesn’t mean that I don’t hope for the best– it’s just that I prepare to keep trying new angles, on the assumption that I haven’t yet won. It’s not so much that I’m working on backup plans (more applications) constantly. I’m of the opinion that I’m qualified for these positions I’m applying for– hella more qualified than a lot of the others apply and getting in. So what’s holding me back? Sometimes, it’s plain dumb luck. And the basic moral of the story is that I can’t be faulted for not having great luck like some people.
As such, the simple solution is not to get into a mindset of “backup plans” or “plan N.” That makes me feel like I’m constantly losing, or settling.
I’ve found that, rather, the better theme to follow is overkill. Just throw fire and forget missiles, salvo after salvo, with the intention of winning everything without actually checking to see what targets you’ve actually tagged– because in the end, if you scorch the earth, it’s all your mark!
