June 3, 2013
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I don’t think I’m actually afraid of anything particular at present– but what I think and what I know might be two different things. Yesterday, I woke up at about 2AM and just couldn’t sleep.
What’s actually going on in my mind is rather hard to say, especially when I’m asleep– it’s hard to interpret any real meaning from dreams of kung-fu and post apocalyptic space opera.
When I’m awake, I’m mostly fearless– but I think, deep down, the coming of finals is wearing me down a bit. I’m probably worried about finals, clerkships, and, down the line, getting deported. Those are just my top 3 guesses. I could make more, but well, what’s the point?
Badminton once a week is good for me– it’s given me an output for an excess of “yin” that’s been accumulating in me over the past few weeks.
It might just be that badminton only comes up once a week and we only actually get about an hour of actual play time in (a lot of the time is watching from the benches). In contrast, I haven’t been to judo in over two weeks (which would normally be between 2 to 4 hours per week) and I haven’t biked to school more than once per week lately (on account of all these suited events I have to attend). That’s a substantial dip in caloric transfer– I’m probably going through about a fifth of the calories that I normally do.
Whenever I don’t exercise, I feel my body and mind feels sluggish. It might be in my mind– perhaps sluggishness is something that I measure against my ability to “do,” and the problem is that a lack of opportunities to “do” make me feel sluggish? I don’t know.
Anyway– it’s just 2.5 more weeks of finals, then one month of clerkship applications, then hopefully, some interviews. Piece of cake right?
