… or something like that, is an assertion I’ve heard to explain the difference between mutual exclusivity and correlation.

From http://helmetfreedom.org/888/2-4-million-australians-put-off-their-bikes-by-helmet-laws/ , I’m copy pasting their main page here.  My thoughts on the matter will follow in the next post.  Although you can probably guess by the fact that I’m tagging this post in my “stupid people” metacategory which side of the fence I’m on with this.

I bought this laptop back in 2007 or so, while I was in South Korea.  In it’s day, it was a real workhorse– nowadays, running linux, it still manages to get the job done, but sometimes it shows it’s age a bit.  The internal wireless stopped working one day, after acting a bit suspicious for several months.  No efforts to reinstall drivers or find a software side problem revealed anything.  So right now, I’m using a good, old fashioned 40 foot ethernet cable, even though I’m typing this literally one meter away from the router.

I like using ethernet cables though.  To have something physically joining my computer to the internet feels solid and powerful.  I know that wireless technology is pretty awesome nowadays– in fact, the latency and packet loss is so low on most connections that over the past few years, I’ve been able to play online using the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 without significant “lag frag” issues.  But I’m getting old fashioned perhaps.

I realise that as time passes, I’m becoming more like the kind of old people that I used to make fun of when I was younger.  I’m reminded of the passages from Baz Lurmhan’s “Sunscreen Song” where he talks about nostalgia, and how we remember things to be better than they are now.

I am happy that I can use this 2007 machine, 6 years after he was born, and it still kicks like a mule.  I bought a netbook in 2012 for a fraction of the cost, but despite some of the glam features on it that this full sized laptop doesn’t do, it just doesn’t match up when I want to do something simple: like blog.

The differences are minute.  Everyone’s got netbooks now, including me– [CM] and I both have smartphones, we even have a Kindle and an iPad.  But when it comes to some old fashioned activities, like writing for the sake of it? My old 2007 machine beats all the so called convenience and mobility of everything else.

The first reason is because the screen is just so huge and comfortable.  I don’t get that claustrophobic feeling that I do when I am using my netbook, and I don’t have to keep flipping virtual keyboards on and off on the mobile devices.  At the same time, i don’t feel wasteful with a too huge external monitor.  Here on my 2007 rig, I just feel like things are just right.

CM asks me sometimes if maybe it’s time that I get a real desktop, because my papers are only going to get longer, as will the nights.  But writing on this machine, in a way that I’m unashamed to admit, is like writing with a friend.

When CM first moved to Australia and I was in still in Canada, unsure if I’d be accepted for law school, this machine was the one that I patched and scripted to get Skype to work in Linux properly (you might not understand the trouble, now that Skype technology is so pervasive– but in fact, it’s very difficult to get skype to work properly on a Linux machine sometimes).  This computer is what bridged the distance between CM and I while we did a 22-hour time difference long distance relationship for about half a year.  We got onto many fights, I shed many tears over this keyboard.  We also shared a lot of happy moments.  I wrote that very first personals ad by which I met [CM] on these keys.

I wrote applications and papers on this machine, and I will continue to do so this year as my papers and application season starts up again.

I suppose the thing is, like many other things, I get attached to the objects that I interact with.  Not in a collector hoarder sort of way where I get more and more of things– like friends, the closer I become with something depends on how useful it is to me.  Just recently actually, I was using this laptop to do video editing for a Litigation assignment.  Despite being past it’s prime, running linux on it was worked wonders for keeping my machine running lean and fast– so even for some moderate video editing, it didn’t fare too badly at all.

The WiFi did die about a month ago– permanently.  I’ll be sad when I one day have to retire this rig.

I think that caring about a thing is important.  It’s what’s missing in a throw-away society where we can get everything instantly.  In my opinion, no, you can’t solve all problems by just throwing money at an issue.  We’re lead to believe that getting something newer or faster or smaller is always better– that’s not true.  That just gives you a different package to deal with the same problems, problems that have head on solutions if only we’re willing to take the time to invest in our ability to deal with a problem, instead of our equipment.  Generalisations don’t hold true everywhere, that’s for sure– but from a sustainability standpoint, would it really hurt us so much if we used something a bit longer before throwing it out?

THe truth is, I have so many things to write about– lots of things have been going on!  The problem is that lately, I’m always tired.

Round 2

The location: One of the catered halls of the Australian School of Business
The event: a meet and greet event, called “Twilight Drinks,” where lawyer wannabes like myself attend if we’re lucky enough to get an RSVP so that we get to meet representatives from some of Sydney’s finest law firms.

There are no familiar faces in the room, except for one, which is a friend of [DilligentB]‘s who I have never really spent much time around.  [SocialWorker] is the social worker I mentioned a handful of posts ago who switched to doing the Juris Doctor program after being completely disillusioned about the state of… social work… after being in it for a few years.

Like me, she was really reluctant to go to this Twilight Drinks event– it’s a tough time I think, because these sorts of events really force us students to put our feet in doors.  It’s not something that comes to us naturally, and there are a lot of ‘tricks’ to the trade of it.  And make no mistake– the ability to network is a trade in itself.  It’s that part time job you always have when you’re trying to get ahead in the world.

ABout one year ago, around this time as well, I was in a similar position as SocialWorker.  I found myself in fancy clothes that I felt didn’t quite fit who I was.  I was nervous about being out of my element– my place was in the trenches of the community.  I like working with my hands, shouting with my lungs– I’m not accustomed to the Victorian wine and cheese social.

I did manage to secure a couple of interviews last year, but they didn’t eventually lead to clerkships.  But the experience was very valuable, and I felt it coming through a lot more tonight at the Twilight drinks.

I felt more confident.  It was the same suit– one year older actually.  It’s hard to beleive that I’ve had this suit for one year actually.  But it fits me better now.  I say that in this way specifically– I don’t say that I fit the suit better, despite that I have gotten into better shape– I’ve trimmed some weight off my legs (reducing the weight of my thighs, which were so massive from cycling last year that the tailor was having a hard time figuring out a proper set of pants that would match my thigh:waist ratio), while putting on more girth to my chest and arms.  Yes, the suit fits me better– but I didn’t have to make myself fit it.

The thing that I’ve come to realise is that a suit is like any other piece of substance in your life– you can hide behind it, or it can be an extension of you.

A year ago, I wore my best shirt to my first interview.  Yes, I actually had a best shirt, and some lucky cufflinks.  The shirt was one that [Zanshin] had picked out for me in South Korea; at the time, I remember (although he probably doesn’t anymore) telling him that “stripes look stupid.”  It’s now one of my favourite shirts, even though it doesn’t fit me anymore.

My point is, I used to have a favourite suit and a favourite set of cufflinks because I felt that the clothes were something that I had to set up, like a protective layer.  

Now, I feel that I can take it for granted. I don’t need to pretend that I know how to wear a suit.  I just know.  I don’t need to pretend to be someone who does a job in a suit– I am a person who works in a suit.

I don’t have to pretend that I belong in a suit anymore– because the suit knows, and it belongs on me, and not the other way around.

A lot has happened in the last year, and somehow, that equated to me feeling a lot more comfortable being who I am in a room full of competition, with only a few relevant people to talk to who actually have the power to help you get a job.  I’m not afraid of the competition anymore.  Sure, there’s that pressure to go out there and gab– but the truth is, I actually had a good time at the event.

I have a good feeling about this year.  Lets hope I’m as lucky as I feel.  1 partners offered me their card at the end of their conversation– one of them was checking out my nametag several times and gave me a card when I asked for it. A third partner didn’t have cards to give, but told me to look him up on their website.

Most people don’t get cards, so I’m pretty stoked about this.  I’m playing the game, and I’m getting ever so slightly better at it!

I’ve been doing midterms for the past couple of weeks, as has [CM].  It has been exhausting.  I’m really at the end of my rope. I just need to get through writing one more paper, and getting together one more cover letter, and one more cv revision– and then I’ll have a few days of breathing space before getting back on things full on again.  I just need to make it up to monday and I can sleep a bit.

I don’t feel depressed or anything– I think I work best when under this sort of pressure.  But don’t get me wrong– it’s not sustainable.  There is a breaking point. I always play my cards pretty tight, so that breaking point is always very close to the end when I do it right, because I like being efficient like that.

I didn’t go to judo yesterday due to twilight drinks, and I haven’t been cycling much because of all these suited events (have you ever tried cycling in a suit?), so I feel like my body is getting weaker– although that’s probably mostly in my head. In fact, my body is probably doing better from not having to do all that physical activity while constantly tired.  My left shoulder actually feels fine now, so maybe that’s a plus.