February 13, 2013

• Hustle

  So, I’m back on vacation, sort of.  My summer class if finally over.  I pulled an all nighter the other day to finish it, handing it in at 6:35AM (due at 7AM).  Then I had a 40 minute nap.  Then suited up, and went to work 8 to 5:30 at the firm.  Almost fell asleep during the lunch office meeting.

   

  But everything is okay now, on my end.  My hand (more specifically, my fingers) have healed nicely– there’s still a bit of soreness, but it seems that the sprain wasn’t as bad as I initially thought.  I’ll be trying to go to judo later tonight.

   

  [CM] is having a bit of a rough patch with med school– by an unlucky draw, she’s got 4-5 major assignments in a single week.  Coupled with daily exposure to hecticness of the Emergency Department, it’s a tough lifestyle that results in her having to eat breakfasts on the walk to the bus stop.  There’s just no other time to eat.  Now that I’m done with my finals, it’ll be easier for me tohelp her with the life maintenance chores.  It’s about all I can do, really.

   

  O-Week (orientation week) at the school is coming up.  It doesn’t really matter for me personally, because I’m a second year student now and there’s nothing there for me… however, there’s usually shitloads of free stuff that you can get.  Plus, I have to represent the Baduk Club and Law Society, so I’ll be there.

   

  I just had lunch with [DilligentB].  The conversation at some point went to the subject of preparing people for life.

   

  When I finished high school, I had already been working several part-time jobs, so it was less of a shock to me– however, the transition to ‘adulthood,’ of which a large part is being a part of the workforce, was not easy.  It still isn’t, now that I’m doing post graduate work.  The world is a tough place– and this game has real consequences.  Suddenly, you’re trust at the forefront of your own life, and you’re not being babied anymore.  Nobody is looking out for you.  Nobody will help you or volunteer to get you out of a pinch.  And at the same time, you’re forced to make decisions that affect the course of your life.

   

  The main thing about becoming an adult is that suddenly, you’re forced to be the architect of your own life.  There’s only one way to live, and that’s in your own life– when you were smaller, it was okay for people to tell you how that should be.  But as you get too big for other peoples’ castles, it becomes apparent that you’ll have to start a thatched hut of your own.

  And shit happens. Wolves come by and huff and puff and blow your shit down.  It’s a discouraging, frightful process– you don’t feel safe.  And when you seek help, sometimes you find that the help you get from people who you thought knew how to help isn’t that good.  Their structures, their foundations, are only marginally better than yours if any, and that shit comes crashing down as well. 

   

  My question is– how do you teach someone survival skills?  How do you teach someone to be good at life?  Knowing what I know now, is there any way that I can help a young person get to where I am without them having to go through their own pains?  Watching the process can be rewarding, but it can also be heartbreaking.

  And I haven’t figured everything out. I often wish that someone who is more smart, more successful, more together than me would just one day come up to me and say: “[Jinryu], I’ve been watching.  You’ve been working hard. Not let me show you the easy way, since I’ve been there.”

   

  Where shall I find such a mentor?

  • 10:21 pm
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